Sunday, March 04, 2007

Quotes of the Day

"I am not a chair. I have never been sat upon" - Tory MP Ann Widdecombe, objecting to the use of the word chair instead of chairman.
"I was talking to Helen Mirren the other day and she said she had to have a false backside fitted in order to do The Queen" - Actress Penelope Cruz.
"Our last child was conceived on the night Rory went to bed with me as Tony Blair" - Tessa Bremner, wife of the impressionist.
"Someone came up to me the other day and said: 'I know who you are ...
Michael Foot!' So I immediately went and got a hair cut" - Veteran jazz trumpeter Humphrey Lyttleton.
"He has the charisma of a coffin lid" - Former Tory Cabinet Minister Michael Portillo on Gordon Brown.
"In one important respect Manchester's supercasino will be very similar to Las Vegas. The customers will be poor and fat when they get there. And a little bit poorer and fatter when they leave" - TV's Jeremy Clarkson.
"We have a Prime Minister who ignores international law when he feels like it, disregarding the findings of UN weapons inspectors in Iraq, turning a blind eye to US abuse of human rights in Guantanamo Bay, and failing to condemn the Israeli invasion of Lebanon" - Lord Ashdown, the former Liberal Democrat leader.
"Suicide seems a reasonable option at the moment." Blogger Iain Dale after watching his team lose 4-3 to Spurs.
"I suppose the only thing worse than being blown up by a mortar on Sunday morning is having two senior Conservative Party figures visiting you on a Monday morning" - William Hague, accompanied by David Cameron on visiting an injured soldier in Basra, who replied: "It's about on a par, sir".
"It's show time on Wednesday" - Jack Straw, Leader of the Commons, on this week's crucial votes on House of Lords reform.
"There is a joke in our family that you can tell our local hospital is no good because it has a sign over the front door saying 'Guard Dogs Operating'" - Broadcaster and commentator Sandi Toksvig.

22 comments:

Vicky Ford said...

Sat at dinner last night with the lady chairman of the local Magistrates. She was most elegant and fed up with being referred to as the "bench chair" when she is sitting.

Jeremy Jacobs said...

So, what's the answer? Go back to chairwoman or chairman, surely not.

Robert said...

I wonder how much the west ham players had on a spurs win...........

fr said...

All comments must be addressed through the jumped-up show-off who likes the sound of his/her own voice.

Anonymous said...

Life isn't fair is it, Iain ? I am a Manchester United 'supporter', and they look like they are going to win the League, even though it is over a decade since I went to Old Trafford, and I don't even support them by watching the matches as I don't have a telly.

Yet keenly supported teams like West Ham seem to be rewarded by having players that are gambling addict prima donnas for whom earning tens of thousands of pounds a week is not enough to get them 'motivated'.

Perhaps you ought to stop turning up at the ground for a while, as they might then learn that they have to earn your support, rather than taking it for granted ??

The Clown of Pevensey Bay said...

I've always claimed to be Brighton 'til I die, Iain.

I'm pretty keen on voluntary euthanasia, however.

HERDU said...

HOW THE E-MAIL INJUNCTION STORY BROKE ON THE BLOGS - CLICK BELOW FOR THE STORY

http://orangebyname.blogspot.com/

Chris Paul said...

Pretty rich from the war-mongering Paddy Ashdown don't you think? He supported the war. But they had one Lord who didn't particularly ... because he wanted Blair to invade Iran and Syria first. Socialist Worker had a comment this week on the Lib Dem attitude to war, pointing out they were now supporting the winnable war in Afghanistan, implying their only objection to Iraq was unwinnability.

(Please don't tell the LP I've even glimpsed at SW)

no longer anonymous said...

The first time Michaelo Portillo has ever said anything that makes me smile.

achilles said...

achilles law: The success of west ham is inversely proportional to the success of david cameron....

Anonymous said...

"He has the charisma of a coffin lid" - Former Tory Cabinet Minister Michael Portillo

There speaks the coffin-bearer, whose leader had more than just the charisma of the coffin contents!

Anonymous said...

Yes but portillo and howard do not expect to back any time soon.....

bebopper said...

Iain
Read Stewart Robson in The Sunday Telegraph for a pretty grim analysis of West Ham's problems. Robson is just about the best there is on judging players and tactics. He traces most of the Hammer's problems back to Pardew.

Anonymous said...

"portillo and howard do not expect to back any time soon"

They are, politically, the undead!

Anonymous said...

bebopper, it's all about what happened in the undressing room!

raincoaster said...

I want to buy that soldier a drink!

Anonymous said...

see http://doted.info

Anonymous said...

The gorgeous Penelope Cruz has a special interest in prosthetic buttocks having been required to wear them herself in Volver

Anonymous said...

Posting your own quote?!?

Anonymous said...

apparently mrs thatcher is not dead. But her sould lives on in Tony Blair regardless.

Iain Dale said...

Just my little joke - better than devoting a whole post to West Ham's woes, don't you think!

Anonymous said...
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