Wednesday, May 09, 2007

That Blair Resignation Statement in Full Mark II

Matthew D'Ancona has received a leaked copy of Tony Blair's resignation statement HERE. I still reckon I got it right when I wrote THIS last September...

Gulp.
Furrow brow.
Y'know
Best interests.
Sigh.
No date.
Take onion out of pocket.
On and on and on.
F**** you Gordon.
Determined look.
The Labour Party can go **** itself.
I just want to be the Prime Minister of People's hearts.

17 comments:

Itinerant said...

You awwwwlways forget - look down to left (preferably to the right) and stare forever meaninglessly, then suddenly, with abnormal, nay, uncanny insight, say something to the effect of: Today is, lithp, not the day for script writes, but,I feel the hiss of a Tory upon me.

Anonymous said...

You forgot:

"It's all Pater's Fault. Peter. Peter! What do I say now, Peter?"

Ken from glos said...

I have seen enough of this actor to last me a lifetime.Tomorrow is a Blair free day for me.

No T.V. or computer just a long walk over the Cotswold Hills and a pub lunch.

At last! At last!! free at last ! From Blair.

Anonymous said...

I suppose it's too much to hope for that the People's Prime Minister eventually gets bumped off in a mysterious high speed car crash.

Anonymous said...

johszx#I made Blair cry
Made him say goodbye
Ain't that a shame? :)
Blair's tears fell like rain
Ain't that a shame?
He's the one to blame

I broke Broon's heart
Ripped his stealth apart
Ain't that a shame? :)
He picked his nose again
Aint that a shame
Broon's tears run like rain

These nulab spooks
Are in my bad books
Aint that a crime?
They'll soon be doing time
Aint that a shame?
They're the ones to blame #

We'll soon break free
From their infamy
Aint that a shame?
They get time, not fame :)
Aint that a shame?
But they're the ones to blame #

Anonymous said...

Woops, forgot to put my blog name after 'Aint that a shame'. Don't know how I managed to get my word verification at the beginning. I didn't type it there :)

Auntie Flo

garypowell said...

Tony Blair is Going?

If you believe that, you will believe anything.

To say that "you have not seen the last of Tony Blair" is an understatement of a lifetime.

Power is the hardest drug known to mankind. It is why it is normally only good for old men to have any of it.

Quote
I will be back.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

How can he sleep at night? said...

surely a freshly peeled onion will be needed for his final goodbye....maybe distributed to the audience also. the gravity of the situation, the hand of history all over his body, waves of self delusion.......but most of all the room will be full of the ghosts of the dead in Iraq, the lost british soldiers and of honesty in public life.

Newmania said...

BTW Iain did you notice that Stephen Pollard got his Spectator gig( The one you wanted ..ho ho), by sucking up to Sarah Schaefer AKA Mrs. Mattie D`Ancona. I was unaware that M D'Ancona was married to a New Labour spin Doctor which might explain why the Spectator is such a festering dung heap nowadays. God knows what the stuff he leaves out is like. I did wonder how they managed to find quite such an uninteresting blog . Well now we know.

I also find it strangely troubling that an arch Cameron supporter is able to share domestic intimacy with a New Labour camp follower.If only Boris could do ..everything ...

Its in the Eye

Observer said...

I'd like Blair to go the way Bilbo did at his birthday party but to keep the ring so Sauron could have the Nazgul get him

Voyager said...

Interesting point Newmania - just goes to show that the real business is General Politics Holding Company, Inc with its operating units Labour, Conservative, Liberal Democrat selling the same engine and running gear under different bodies......bit like GM and its Chevrolet and Buick divisions

Newmania said...

VOYAGER -General Politics Holding Company,

George Walden in New Elites is rather of this opinion. Not a bad read but only an article padded out really

Jeremy Jacobs said...

lol

javelin said...

Blair will be absent for the next 6 week (I would presume Brown would also be absent as he usually is). Leaving John Prescot in charge.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/the_blair_years/article1769545.ece

Anonymous said...

Can I be completely heretical and suggest the following for Tone:

Who's the one person who can secure what Tony sees as his legacy (PFI Hospitals, better schools, "best ever NHS", green policies, etc)?

Broon - don't think so
Ming the Great - ha, ha!
Cameroon - well, he has been likened many times to Bliar (to the chagrin of many Torys), supports green stuff, seems to want the middle ground that Tone has grabbed.

So, what if Tone resigns today as leader of the Labour Party, waits 7 weeks till Broon is the new leader, then visits the Queen and asks her to dissolve parliament and call a General Election. Broon completely nose-dives, Cameron wins and continues Tone's legacy for a few years (before deciding on his own policies)?

[First ever post but have been lurking for sometime - keep up the good work Iain]

Anonymous said...

Dead Ringers got it even righter when they wrote that about five years ago.

Ralph said...

You forgot:

Stop in middle of sentence for no apparent reason.